The Tactics of Love
Between football and love, there is but a thin veil.
Owner of Possession
“If you play on possession, you don’t have to defend.”- Johan Cruyff
In an attempt to control our own fate, we must act on our own behalf and expect nothing from others; maintain possession of the game.
I have no idea when my favorite sport spurred this selfish infatuation with possession. But it’s all rooted in a fear, truth be told. To make this tactical approach, you must assume that the other person can hurt you and has the intention to. But love must be played without fear. When the final whistle blows, I’d rather look back on the ways I loved rather than the score that so often misses the minute details that make us excited to love and be loved. If your love is ruled by fear, then it is not love for another, only love for yourself. True love requires courage to be vulnerable and leave yourself open to hurt.
Despite the risks, the prospect of love always prevails.
“Possession means nothing when the opponent takes its chances.” - Franz Beckenbauer
The Art of Defending
“But first and foremost, I see myself as a defender: blocking, tackling, heading.” - Harry Maguire.
There is nothing wrong with a good defense. Whether we like it or not, incidents can occur that can require us to retreat to our own half and have to endure moments of hardship, pressure, and turbulence. However, actively going out of your way to tackle into every situation will only hurt your fellow player. You have to be able to recognize situations and position yourself to face these situations in the most apt way. Avoid the hurt without self-sabotaging. Too many times, I have seen players try and anticipate a scenario and completely miss the mark. The result, almost without fail, is that very thing they were attempting to avoid.
“If I have to make a tackle, then I have already made a mistake.”- Paolo Maldini.
Making the Proper Pass
“Some teams can’t or don’t pass the ball. What are you playing for? What’s the point?”- Xavi Hernández
Love must be a constant back and forth. There has to be a way of maintaining the spark alive throughout the game. It does not have to be fancy nor incessant, but rather intentional and personal to your beloved. The key here is that these gestures of love must be extensions of your emotions, not forced transactions to keep your partner happy. When it is love, nothing will be forced. Passes will be instinctual. Passing must not be a means to an end, but an act of love with no expectations.
That is the proper pass. The one you don’t think about. The one that is selfless and loaded with the sole intention of bringing a smile to the face of the one who slows down time for you. The one that you will always look for whenever given time and space on the ball. To make the proper pass, you must have the proper person.
“I loathe all that passing for the sake of it, all that tiki-taka. It's so much rubbish and has no purpose. You have to pass the ball with a clear intention.”- Pep Guardiola
The Best Part
“Scoring goals is like making love: everyone can do it, but nobody does it like me.” - Alfredo Di Stefano
Behind every beautiful goal, there is an assist. It’s important to remember that the goal is not a measure of an individual’s skill, but the consummation of a team’s effort. Love just doesn’t appear. You must work towards it. Of course, that includes working on yourself. With that, chances will be created to score goals. The rest is about taking your opportunities.
Yet, the most gorgeous part of the game is not the goal, but what comes after it. The celebration with the team, the roar of the stadium, the realization that all the sacrifices aren’t sacrifices, but preludes to this very moment of ecstasy. The joy of love has to be shared. It cannot be contained for the indulgence of a singular person. It refuses to, in fact. Love is too grand, too universal.
A scoreline can capture the goals scored, but it will never be able to capture the emotions it caused throughout our time as participants. Even through loss, all that matters at the end is what you remember from it: a dribble or a kiss, a tackle or a cry, a pass or gift, a goal or an “I love you”, a celebration or a date. If you can find solace in these, you’ve won.
“When all this is over, what are you left with?”- Lionel Messi